Hello Friends!
I am writing this on Thursday 30 October, it will be published in a few days, so grammatical tense might be a bit off.
I am so sad this evening. Today was the day for the hospice where I have attended one day a week for the past two years to close its doors for the last time.
Grateful Thanks {I don't think so} to the British Government for all the cutbacks, and for not providing support for essential community facilities such as hospice care and other vital resources that are now funded by volunteers, community fundraising, and lottery grants. These sorts of facilities should be supported by the government because, in the long term, they save more money than they would cost.
So, today, by request, the last few remaining attendees, had our Christmas party, brought forward so we would not miss out on a last hurrah of comradeship and comradery. It was a good day, we had a local Ukelele group, there was singing {of the loosest definition of the term 😁} of Christmas songs {who knew that I know all the words of Jingle Bells and I'm 'Dreaming of a White Christmas by heart? #nosongsheetneeded and I even remembered the words and dance moves learned to The Carpenters song Top of the World, which I performed live on stage at a Young Farmer's Association talent contest. Think BGT with real talent!} There was plenty of festive food, a Secret Santa and more.
We all did our best, patients of all situations and diagnosis, I promise you, we all tried really hard, to be as happy and cheerful as we could, but one by one, our jolly façades cracked, one by one the tears began to fall, and one by one the Kleenex boxes got passed around, and then the time came as it was bound to do when we all hugged and said our sad farewells. Contact details were exchanged as some of us hope to meet up over the winter months, but these things are not always easy to coordinate between our medical conditions, mobility issues, appointments, and the weather.
Nobody visits me, hardly anyone phones me, my pen friends no longer write {possibly because I cannot write back?} and the online book club to which I belonged has dropped me from their meetings. I am forgotten and I now face a time of isolation as the darker days of winter draw in. The only contact I now have on a regular basis are the care team who come in twice a day for half an hour in the morning and evening. The time I spent at the hospice each week gave me so very much to look forward to each week, and it leaves a big hole in my life, and in those of others. I don't know how I will get through it. There is no facility to compare within reasonable travelling distance. There is nothing that offers anything remotely like the activities we had. I will find something, but it won't be the same. This is going to take a lot for me {and others} to get over, if we will get over it. Time will tell, but time is short.
Trying to end on a more cheery note, this is the lovely mug I received in the Secret Santa, along with a box of assorted Lindor truffles {a particular favourite of mine!}

You are right, Hospices shouldn't have to rely on donations and charity - they should be Government funded. I am so sorry that you have lost the contact you had with friends and patients there, and just hope that you are able to maintain some element of friendship despite the rug being pulled from under your feet.
ReplyDeleteThe National Audit Office recently stated that 2/3 of hospices now run at a combined total deficit of £78million. Only 29% of income comes from government sources, the rest is from public donations and fundraising. It is a disgrace.
DeleteSo sorry to hear about your local hospice. I volunteer at a shop for my local one and it faced financial crisis earlier this year. Luckily they were named as beneficiary in a will or two that has kept them afloat. For this year at least.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are lacking visitors and feel forgotten. It's hard when loved ones have past and you have mobility issues. Tick for those boxes for me too.
I wonder if there is a companionship group nearby? My mil and her sister were part of one, visiting housebound and also gaining companionship themselves.
That reminds me, I must now change the beneficiary of my will. I wish there had been some way I could have given them the money now!
DeleteThere is a so called "Befrienders" group in my area, but it is in name only. I have asked to be a volunteer telephone caller for them, but have yet to be assigned anyone. It would be company both ways! All I have had is a couple of Christmas cards. Very poor indeed.
So sad; will you be able to make regular phone calls to your hospice friends, many who will be feeling just like you? Can you initiate regular emails to people instead of letters? Not the same, I know, but it'ssomething.. I've found zoom to be a real blessing for keeping up with friends far and near, as I have to avoid meeting in indoor settings due to vulnerability to infection, so my social world closes down every winter as it becomes too cold to sit outside.
ReplyDeleteOne of our "rules" was to not attend if you were poorly or feeling unwell in order to protect the vulnerable. One of our ladies tried a group near to her home and she couldn't get over how many attendees and helpers both, were all coughing and spluttering. There was no hand gel either.
DeleteThis is heartbreaking. What a lovely event, but for such a sad occasion.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you are able to keep in touch with some of the friends you made at the hospice. Xx
There's not a lot anyone can say or do now. We just have to face up to it, no matter how hard, and mourn it almost like losing a dear friend.
DeleteI have never understood why the government doesn't fund hospices when they can find money for some NHS services which aren't essential. It seems a false economy (and a very cruel one). I do hope you can keep in touch with your friends from the hospice. No doubt they will be experiencing many of the same feelings as you at the moment. Even if meeting up is difficult I am sure that they would appreciate a phone call.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes down to the government, I'm afraid I'm now in the "how much are the refugees costing us" mode of thought. While there are genuine cases who do need help, how many are not genuine?
DeleteI am so very very sorry that Shalom has closed as I know how much it meant to you and so many others and how much it will be missed. You are right when you say that hospices shouldn't have to rely on donations but should be Government funded. I really feel for you Debbie and I hope you can find a way to keep in touch with some of the friends you made there. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Right now I think I have to focus on changing my emotions from sadness and anger into something that is less negative and aggressive. It isn't doing me any good to feel this way.
DeleteI hope I sent that last comment! Forgot to say I love the Secret Santa mug and enjoy the chocolates.
ReplyDeleteThe chocolates are history! lol
DeleteIt's so very sad when a desperately needed service that does so much good is forced into closure because it doesn't have the support to maintain its services. I'm sure they looked into every possible grant funding available. It does seem that government support would be so helpful. I hope you can maintain some of those friendships by phone if nothing else. The winter can be a hard time because it's much easier to isolate. Perhaps there are other online book clubs, or you can ask if there was a reason why you were dropped. It may have just been a mistake.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble is that our government chooses to fund and support all the illegal immigrants coming ashore along the English Channel before they support the British Taxpayers whose money they are using to fund the immigrants. British Taxpayers money should be helping British Taxpayers first not last. Shalom regularly received lottery funding etc, but the money was appropriated for specific purposes, such as funding art classes, complimentary therapy, paying for a gardener, and buying a garden gazebo. Organisations cannot rely upon lottery funding in the UK. We need solid backing from the government.
DeleteJust so very sorry to read this.
ReplyDeleteOur local hospice is still open but often has to have 'empty beds' because they cannot fund the staff. The work they do is incredible, the staff offer so much to both patients and their families.
So many Hospices are struggling to continue to stay open.
They do such wonderful work and I do the best I can to support them.
I do wonder is there anything online that you may be able to do to enable you to keep in contact.
On a more positive note ... I like your mug.
Sending lots of good wishes.
All the best Jan
The mug is lovely.
DeleteShalom, sadly, will not be the last. At least everyone has found work!
I already belong to a few online forums, but they aren't the same.
Pleased that you do already belong to a few online forums, I know they are not the same but it does give you some contact.
DeleteMy good wishes.
All the best Jan
It makes me so angry that so many essential health services rely on charity. The air ambulance service is another example. I know it’s not the same but could you form a online group using zoom or something similar.
ReplyDeleteYes, the Air Ambulance is another vital service.
DeleteI do belong to several online groups but they are not the same.
Zoom is different, it isn’t really an online group. You just use it like a sort of telephone but you have a video call with multiple people at once. like a real conversation.
DeleteHow I wish I could do something to make all this better. Online groups are just not the same as being face to face. I guess it would be better than nothing, but real contact is so important. Being able to reach over and pat someone's knee to show comfort is important and simply can't be done online. I agree with you that governments should absolutely fund these programs. They are so important and do save money, in the long run. I'm just so very sorry, Deb. My heart breaks for you all.
ReplyDelete